For hours on end, I—like many mothers—get lost in the details of raising children, putting terrible pressure on ourselves to be perfect and forgetting that our children’s true needs are much simpler than all of this.
Your Kids Do Not Need a Super Mom; They Need a Present Mom
This thought is the core of something wonderful I read today, which says: “Your kids do not need a super mom, they need a present mom.” It is a sentence that touched my heart because it sums up a long journey of self-blame. Your children do not need a lunchbox with five colors as much as they need a small note that says, “I love you, champion.” Nor do they need a room that is tidy twenty-four hours a day as much as they need a warm hug the moment they get back from school.
Safety and Emotional Presence Matter More Than Perfection
The truth I must come to terms with is that they will grow up and completely forget what I used to cook or how neat the house was, but they will never forget how I used to hug them or the safety they felt in my presence. My emotional presence, listening to them, and a hug when needed are what build their mental health and make them well-adjusted. A child does not measure a mother’s love by the number of meals or lessons, but by a look in the eye, a smile, and listening when they speak. Here, I am reminded of a saying I liked that asserts a child needs a homeland where they feel safe before they need a teacher to drill them with information.
In my view, this relieves mothers of the exhausting burden of perfection. Many of us think a good mother is one who cooks, cleans, and studies without stopping, but the truth is that a good mother is one who is present with her heart before her hands. This falls under the concept of true positive parenting; positive parenting does not mean a perfect home, but rather a safe relationship where the child feels accepted and loved even when they make mistakes. Between perfection and presence lies a wide space of comfort.
Quality Presence With Children
Here I like to mention “quality presence,” which means being with my child with my heart and mind for just a few minutes. That is better than being with them in body only for long hours while I am busy with my phone or thinking about other tasks.
The Five-Minute Hug
Why not try an idea called the five-minute hug? I set aside just five minutes when my child returns from school—without a phone and without endless questions about homework. I sit at eye level, hug them, ask one simple question (“What was the best moment you had today?”), and then listen without interrupting. These five minutes are enough to fill their tank of safety and make them forget all the weariness of the day. Between the sincere little and the distracted much, a child always chooses the sincere.
Listen to Your Child and Give Them Your Attention
Have you ever tried putting your phone aside for five minutes and listening to your child all the way through? Have you noticed how their expression changes when they feel you are truly listening? I hope you will try today to be present, not just capable. With your simple efforts and great love, you are the greatest and most wonderful mother in the world in their eyes. You are not just someone who cooks, cleans, and helps with schoolwork; you are their first homeland, refuge, and the safety they run to from the entire world. So set your heart at ease—you are doing what you need to do, so there is no need for self-blame.
Stop Blaming and Criticizing Mothers
Finally, to those around a mother who is trying hard to meet her family’s needs while raising children: bite your tongues. Inside every mother is an inner voice that always makes her feel she is falling short, experiencing what is psychologically called perfectionism or self-blame. Your observation, objection, or advice—if unrequested—only increases her tension and perhaps even more. So please, bite your tongues, and offer nothing except kind words of support.
Written by Rody Nabil
Latest video
تابع معنا تحليل قراءة الصحف اليومية مع الكاتب الصحفي Hany Sallam عبر